This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
