nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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