3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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