who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
