How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
