Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
