Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize