This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
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I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
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When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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