it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize