the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
