I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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