shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
worst night to have a conscience
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
