At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
