i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You can't motorboat a personality
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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