This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
