In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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