Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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