Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize