you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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