I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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