You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
