at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
