grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
