This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
