you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
