i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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