This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
