After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He kissed a someone with a penis
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
