Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
