I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
