plz talk dirty to me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
tell me about the eggs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
