i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
