You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
