Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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