I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
