you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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