Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He better not be in your backpack
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
