3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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