Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
