Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Randomize