I'm so fucking centered right now
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If I die, sorry about rent.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize