imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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