let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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