Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
