just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
