McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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