i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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