You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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