I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
