Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
