Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
