i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
