Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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