Porn is love you can see.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls