some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together