i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
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Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.