Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was

(734): View more from Michigan

you're 26.

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(313): I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was (734): you're 26. http://tfl.nu/eh0f

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(908): View more from New Jersey

everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries

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(908): everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries http://tfl.nu/l93m

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(518): View more from New York

WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!

(315): View more from New York

... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...

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(518): WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?! (315): ... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher... http://tfl.nu/j2jz

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(703): View more from Virginia

She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.

(540): View more from Virginia

Ew, and?!

(703): View more from Virginia

Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.

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(703): She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal. (540): Ew, and?! (703): Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards. http://tfl.nu/xpq2

Replies (36) Good night (838) Bad night (7624)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.

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(301): Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life. http://tfl.nu/ieq0

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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(412): I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/pqtq

Replies (34) Good night (3140) Bad night (4136) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.

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(310): Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up. http://tfl.nu/lp2z

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.

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(774): i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub. http://tfl.nu/0yor

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(613): View more from Ontario

No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.

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(613): No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/2rsl

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(916): View more from California

Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...

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(916): Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers... http://tfl.nu/ayxd

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(734): View more from Michigan

it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party

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(734): it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party http://tfl.nu/d8h2

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(540): View more from Virginia

(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

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(540): (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable? http://tfl.nu/oc1y

Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (395)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public

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(843): i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public http://tfl.nu/vwkw

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(352): View more from Florida

We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.

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(352): We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home. http://tfl.nu/59j5

Replies (7) Good night (604) Bad night (486)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."

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(228): I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult." http://tfl.nu/mdv1

Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (363)

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