i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize