What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
