so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
