Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize