I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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