I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
