just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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