I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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